I feel so much better! Yep, it's because of Jesse. I talked to him this morning. He's in Paris right now. I let out everything that was bugging me and it's weird... even though he didn't offer any solution to my problems, I felt better. I guess though, I didn't even know what my problem was, I was just... feeling all lost and sad... and I wasn't quite sure why.

Oh you know what else. Yesterday before I went to sleep, I talked to Rick about how I felt like I was drifting from Charita and he ended up saying that just because I'll drift away doesn't mean that we still won't be friends. He added that close friends are hard to remain because it takes a lot of work. For some reason, what he said made sense and I hadn't realized all of this before. I guess it was because most of my close friends, when we ceased being close, it was because something big happened to break apart the friendship... or if not that, the person moved away and stopped calling me. This is new I guess.

I talked about this with Jesse and he says that it makes a lot of sense and I shouldn't worry about this. I also mentioned to him the fact that I dislike my lack of motivation and apathy and I want to change that. He says it will be hard... and I agree but I really don't like those parts of myself so I'm going to change it... or try anyway. I only got to talk to him for about an hour and half (I had to go), but it made me feel so much better. It was exactly what I needed. So day 4 was a good day.

Jesse: Moo!
Jesse: Take care
Jesse: *hugs

Oh yeah, I got a job. Sweet. I'll give more details next time. I gotta go now.

Good day.