I made a template today that I really like and you can see it here. I'm just kinda sorry that I won't get to use it on my diary. Oh well. If you can't tell, I've been trying to design more because a part of me still likes that creative side.

I've been wondering lately if I like Jesse and everytime I think about it, I come up blank. Liking anyone for me is a sore subject now because I'm never sure what to do about it... and if I were sure, and that I did want to go for it, I'd always hesitate, not just because of the obvious reason, but also because I'm scared that my feelings will change for no reason and hurt the other person.

I mean it's not the first time that it's happened. It's happened over and over and I think I'm starting to see a certain pattern, but that's why I'm not sure if Jesse is in the green or red zone. I don't want to end up being a bitch to anyone, much less him because he's a good guy and he's a good friend to me, so I gotta be careful... especially when I get those feelings of loneliness. I jump into things that I really shouldn't.

So I've been wondering if the trip up North is such a good idea after all. It's complicated. He's a guy and I'm a girl. We're going to be sharing rooms with his friend I think... and not just that but being the social outcast that I am, is it such a good idea for me to tag along on his trip? Yeah, he did invite me, but I'm scared that I won't have a good time and that I'll feel left out and I don't want to be a burdern on anyone. If I'm already not sure about having a good time... if I'm so negative, I don't think something positive will end up happening.