Today was one of my days off and I can't really say that I did anything interesting. One thing that's good though, is that I finally signed up for my classes... I'm pretty much done with everything, I just have to wait for awhile until September.

I'm still not sure if I can pull off that trip with Jesse. At this point, it looks like a no. It's just too much of a hassle with work... It's so disappointing and depressing. I dunno... whatever.

The other day I was talking to Paul, and he thinks that I should tell Jesse that I like him. I don't think it's a good idea, just yet anyway. I don't know. I've been thinking about it, but I'm not sure. Mostly, I just think about how much I want to talk to him... I did get to briefly say hi to him today, but he had to go. I miss him... but he'll be back Friday luckily and I think we'll get to hang out. I'm excited, but not too much because I'm keeping myself in check.

Tomorrow I got work... working is stupid. I hate working for minimum wage now. Things are repititive and redundant. There must be something better out there. I'm so annoyed. Fuck it all.

As you can see, I'm really annoyed right now. I'm not quite sure why. I don't have much to update, but I thought I should write in here...

Zuri says I should write down my goals and post it somewhere so everytime I see it, I will be guilted into doing it. It's a good idea and I'll have to write down my goals when I get a chance.

This is an odd thing to say but - I want to feel loved again. Like the way I felt before when Eric was around. I dunno. I don't miss him, but I miss that feeling that I had. I felt secure and safe and everytime I looked at him, I felt like everything was in place. I'd just be so happy... I dunno, I want that feeling again, but that feeling is rare and hard to find. I'm afraid that I'll be alone for the rest of my life... Everyone always tells me I won't, but it's hard for me to believe that sometimes.

Speaking of Eric, I looked at his myspace today, and there were some new pictures of him posted on there and... You know he got a haircut right? Well, he did... It's really short now and he reminds me so much of Mike and Mike looks so Mexican, and now so does Eric... In other words, Eric looks fucking ugly (not that Mexicans are ugly, cause there are some hot ones out there). I'm glad he's not my boyfriend anymore. And anyway, the Eric I fell in love with no longer exists but in my heart.

Anyway, good day.