So I have been meaning to update, every once in awhile anyway, but somehow I get distracted and it never happens. I did happen to update twice on my other diary, so you might want to read that, but seeing as I haven't written in awhile, you might be a little overwhelemed with the emotion that's in the first entry.

Life has been kinda tough ever since Sunday. Here we are, only on Wednesday, but how I wish the week would never end because Friday, I have 2 midterms and I'm not sure that I'm going to do very well at all. One is math and the other is philosophy. I wouldn't be so worried about math, if I pulled my weight from the beginning and did the optional homework, but since I didn't, I dunno. It doesn't look good that's for sure.

This probably won't make sense to most of you, but I'll say it anyway. I left my Zelda guild on Gunbound. I joined a new one called Lords. A bunch of my gunbound friends are on it and I love the guild because it makes me feel like I belong somewhere and the people in it are very awesome. I love them all so very much even though I've only known them a short time. I care for them already.

I've been thinking about this for awhile, though I really don't want to, but my birthday is coming up and I hate it. I don't like bringing up my birthday because it's a reminder in people's lives that it's my birthday and if you feel that you need to do something you get time to prepare. If it's a total surprise, then you know who will remember your birthday and you know who won't. And I tend to appreciate those the best... the ones that remember without my mentioning it. But the reason I mention it now is because I'm absolutely dreading my birthday. The aspect that another year has passed is scary to me and from now on I have to say I'm 19, not 18 and that seems like such a huge jump up. I feel like I'm saying an ugly number to describe myself, but it's the truth and I can't say anything else without lying.

I feel like I'm in a fog, and I hope I get out soon. I got a lot to do today, it feels like, but all I really want to do is crawl back into the covers and sleep. That is the story of my life, but I haven't been able to do that since... I can't even remember that far back.