I'm very confused because sometimes I feel like I'm very much in love with Gil, but I'm too scared to do anything about it because I'm a bit crazy when it comes to liking people sometimes. I'll like them one moment and then I'll hate them the next. But yesterday and today, all I've been feeling is like I'm falling in love again. I'm scared that it'll end and in pain again because I don't need that and neither does he... and the fact that I'll be the one to cause it, it's probably what's making it the worst part out of all of this.

I wish I could talk to someone about this, but I think meanwhile all I can do is wait... until I see him and when I can make a better decision... I just don't know if I can. I want to tell myself to trust my instinct because I know I can't really trust my fickle heart. I'll have to trust my gut and see if my feelings will settle and be okay with Gil or not.

I really want to play gunbound now so I'll write more another time...