I couldn't sit still during the test, mostly becaue I wanted to stand up and scream "OMFG I'M GOING TO FAIL! I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS!" And the urge to say that seem to have grown throughout the test, but you'll be happy to know I acted like a sane person and kept quiet.
But god, I felt so depressed walking out of there. It reminded me so much of that helpless feeling that I had when Eric broke up with me a year and a half ago. I don't know... I felt hopeless and tired, like I wanted to be drfited to wherever... but then a part of me was so angry and that reminded me of the night where I cut myself in the bathtub... which reminded me of other stuff and pretty soon I started thinking about throwing stuff around or punching the wall or something because I was so consumed with anger I didn't know how to get it out.
I guess lucky for me I was in public... I'm trying hard not to run anywhere so I can cry without anyone around... I want to be stronger than this but I don't know what to do... I don't know how else to act.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. Last year was my slacking year. I'm supposed to do well this year. Well fuck... I guess I'm going to fail my first class. God, I hate physics. I don't know why I need it either. It's so fucking ridiculous. How the hell do people know what angle they throw something at and with what inital velocity and who cares anyway?!
Fuck physics... and especially my high school physics teacher. I bet if he actually taught me anything my senior year I would've done okay on this test.
I hate physics.