I decided to try this email way of adding an entry now that I have goldmember again. I've never done the email way before, mostly because there was never a need to, but now I find myself writing in diaryland a lot while I'm at work and I sure as hell don't want them to read my shit nor do I want them to raise their eyebrows when they see the big "DIARYLAND" text atop while I write in my entry box. This seems smarter since it's an email. I doubt that anyone would suspect what I'm doing this way.
I read a crazy diary named confession yesterday. It's really worth the read. It's only 44 entries long. I might as well tell you that the man supposedly kills himself (since it's indicated that way by his last entry, which would be the first one you'd read anyway if you clicked the link). (By the way, you may want to read the entries before you read this paragraph ahead because of spoilers.) I felt really sympathetic towards him at first, but towards the end when he decided to run away from everything, I started feeling that way less so. I found myself having a hard time fighting between whether I should feel sorry for the guy or condemning him because he deserved everything he got. He committed a crime by running away... and in the end he runs away again from his wife... and by killing himself, he ran away as far as he could. I try to think that maybe I am being too harsh on him, after all, the guilt that plagued him was definitely overwhelming... but it doesn't change the fact that he ran away from a girl that was in need of his help. I want to say that this man isn't horrible... but isn't he? He seems like a good man, that just made a bunch of stupid errors, but those errors make up a part of who he is now. The decisions someone makes, makes them who they are. Doesn't that mean he's a bad person? And those errors he made cost him a innocent girl's life. How bad does that error have to be so that it's unforgivable? Is this not unforgivable? My question is: just because he is plagued with guilt, does that let him off the hook? Doesn't a lot of other people who go to jail regret who they killed? Yet, they can't do anything but face their sentence. Does that mean our justice system is fucked up in some way? I've been thinking about this man the better half of the day and I can't seem to come to a conclusion as to whether I feel sorry for him or not. On another note, I noticed he never really mentioned the cops after the girl died. Did they not decide to press charges? Also, why is his diary still around? It hasn't been updated in 8 years, yet the page isn't dead. (If you haven't noticed, diaryland started "deleting" diaries that were inactive, but you can re-activate it by signing in.) That makes me wonder if he's still alive... or if someone who knows his account is still keeping it up... or if Andrew (the creator of diaryland) decided to keep it running. I'm guessing it's the first or the second one. I don't think Andrew would do that. Another reason I speculate the first two is because his diaryland template isn't the original one it comes with... and with all that's going around him, I highly doubt he had so much time to fix around the way he's diaryland looked. I'm pretty sure it's been edited since.
I guess I've been talking about that enough. I've decided to do my template website on diaryland. I'm planning on starting on it tonight or tomorrow. I don't know what to call it yet.
I still haven't really talked to you about my life, Paul, or my job yet... nor have I talked about what's happened in my life the last two years... I guess I'm not ready yet.