Anyway, I'm not quite sure what to talk about, but there's something inside of me that's stirring, and I don't like the sound of that, cause that usually means, that I'm going to have another one of my 'exploding' moods and I'm going to ramble on in an entry, but the only thing is, nothing is wrong, so I don't know what there is to ramble on. I don't think I've ever been this happy before.
Although... I don't know why, but I've been thinking about Jeff a lot more than I have before. He'll pop up in my head every few hours or so, every now and then, but today for the first time in like 6 months, I happened to pass by an old conversation I had with him. I don't know why, but I decided to open it. And upon reading it, I was in dispair, mostly due to what we said. I almost felt like I was lying to him... it made me more aware of things I've said to people, and I started thinking about some of the stuff I've said, maybe I've lied without realizing it... It makes me sad... I don't want to be like that, because I know just how deep I was in with Jeff, and althought I must admit it's totally different with Chris, I can't help but wonder how it's going to end, in the end...
One thing I did notice today in the bathroom though, I had less white/gray hair than normal. I usually have the most when I'm stressed and believe me, it's gotten so bad to a point where you can totally see it, but when I saw myself in the mirror, I was surprised. 1- because I remembered, and 2- because I didn't have much white/gray hair. Well, not so much as to a noticible point. I think it's all due to the stressfree condition in my life right now. I don't think I've ever been this happy before and I'm really trying to take advantage of it.
I got my SAT9 score today... gosh, I did sooooooo horrible... it's so pitiful! I got a 30 something on history, but I blamed that on the fact that I had a horrible 7th and 8th grade teacher, Mr. Miranda, who never taught me anything, and I didn't take history this year... arrgg!! Plus, I've never been a good history person. I was unsatisified with my English grade too, I usually get a high 80... but pish, I made high 70s... the only thing that I was really happy about was that I got 96 on my math. I was so surprised because I thought I did lousy on math too! Well, I hope I'll do better next year. I'm waiting for my CDs to come in... I want my "The Fragile" CD by NIN.
I've been feeling kind of guilty because I haven't written any letters to my pen pals, and I got about 8 letters to mail out from about a month ago. *Sigh* but the good thing is, none of my pals have responded, mostly due to the fact that they're on vacation.
I am trying so very desperately to finish that book, "The Good Earth" especially since I have to return the book on Monday, and I can't renew it because I already did. I'm on chapter 25 and the last chapter is 34. I want to finish it tomorrow, but I don't konw if I can. If not, I at least want to finish it by Sunday. I mean... tomorrow cause today is Saturday... damn, this past 12AM thing is annoying.
You know what? I think guys actually become kind of girly when they love someone so much... haha, ain't that kinda funny? I think that's so cute! Haha. Man, I'm loving this... I really am. Well, I really can't think of anything else to say, so I guess I'm outtie. Later, Prue. Oh yeah... another thing... smiling hurts when you smile this much.
*~AnNa