i keep forgetting the actual number of these entires, they always ask what you want to call each entry page, and i've just always gone with the numiercal order, just that i keep forgetting which number i am at, so i have to open the page and see the number... whoo hoo! despite, my hectic yet, boring life, i have been able to manage everything okay, i suppose, although it could be a lot better. eh. i'm used to it...

i finished watching those movies i rented. which was head over heels and heartbreaks. head over heels wasn't that great of a romance thing, but it was your average one. i still liked Kate and Leopold. that was a good movie an it still makes me smile. =) as for heartbreaks, it wasn't exactly what i had expected. it's about a mom and a daughter who... ehh... actually i think i'll let you find out yourself. but the daughter did fell in love with this guy named jack. (he's real name is Jason Lee, weird huh?) things get a lil out of hand. she gets hurt for a stupid reason... yadda yadda... then they had to split apart, for some reason though, when good couples break apart, it makes me feel... i dunno the right word... high. i guess, that's the word. it gets me going. and i like the story a lot more for some reason, plus, i know how it goes, it's always a happy ending. although, in "head over heels", i thought it was going to be a bad ending. i almost wanted to be a bad ending, but then i was like, "hey, this is a sucky ending." the ironic thing was that i've always wanted some sucky ending in a movie, but when it happened, i didn't wnat it to. of course the movie did have a happy ending in the end. and i was glad. i think that i want happy ending in movies, becuz at least then i can believe that there are good ending somehwere, even if it's not real life.

anyway, jason filled out this sheet thing and i'm not going to... you know what i realized about birthdays? i know this is totally offtopic, but i just remebered. see Nancy's birhtday is on the 3/30. chris's on the 4/14. jason's on 5/26. denysia's on 6/18. notice anythig about the numebrs? 30-26=4. 18-14=4. weird huh? ...anyway... my birthday's the only one not connected. except for the fact that andrea's birthday is the same day as mine (feb 8) anyway...

jason says i dont care enough. and i was wondering if that was true. i guess that is, but i dunno what he is refurring to. but really thhough, its not that i dont care. maybe i try too hard not to care. or somethiing. i dunno, but before when i cared about everything, nothing ever went my way. so i grew tired of caring. i mean if you went back to my old entires in scribble of how i tired i was of crying, you'd see. but i dunno i've just grown so tired of that shit. no one gives a fuck whether i care or not. why should i bother than? i wont get shit outta it, it's not like someone is going to come up and say, "thanks for caring". i am specific on what i care about and i notice things a lot. so i know what i care about and what i dont care about. and the things i do care about i guess it just doesn't really shot to most ppl. i've tried caring and it didn't work out too well... do i really want to go back to that? i'm just so sick of thinking. sometimes i wish i could just let it all come out so i could firstly punch the shit outta chris for the pranks he did on jason. i mean, is that caring? cuz i did care, but i figure what was the point? it's already done. i guess i could fix the things that can be fixed, but i just dont konw what that is. so i can't do anythign about it... maybe it's not that i dont care, but rather that i just dont seem to care. cuz i dont want ppl to think i care, becuz i dont like caring. caring makes me weak. and i dont like weakness...

or maybe i'm wrong about the whole thing?