Running, running as fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
Do you think we'll make it?
We're running, keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated

It seems that lately I can't seem feel any contentment. No matter what I do, well, maybe it's not no matter what I don't do, I don't feel any better. I guess maybe cause I felt like an outsider in my group of friends lately. I don't like to go on about this kind of stuff because, gosh, you must be so annoyed of these phases I have now. People stop taking you seriously after awhile and as much as I try not to let things get to me, I can't. One of the worst faults that I have is that I let things get to me too much.

I've come to dislike school alot. The only reason I ever liked school was either to see friends or get away from home, but now I've come to realize that I enjoy being home. No one bothers me or pesters me. Well, not much and definitely not as much as before. I've almost come home, LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. But being at school was still fun because friends were there, but now that I feel like my friends aren't so much really my friends, I feel like I don't belong at school. I feel like nobody. The worst part is even when I feel this, I feel like nobody cares. Sometimes I wish I could change the way people are. With my sense of open mind, I wish I could share that of my gift. I wish I could give everyone everything that I've experienced. So they'd be sad, but still happy. I guess I wish people could see it from my view, because I've felt for a long time that no one understands me, but then I don't understand myself. I mean... I guess, what's there to understand right?

I heard that Matt is planning to ask me out. Of course I'm going to say, "no." But I'm thinking about how to answer it. I've been thinking a lot lately about what kind of person I should be. I've noticed that nice people get walked all over and you get to a point and you're tired of it. If I could, you know what I would say? I would say, "You've asked about 10 people in band already. You're fucking annoying, you hang out with Chris and I know you listen to him. You get easily walked over. And you have a fucking needy personality. Now you tell me if that's the kind of person you would want to date, cause I sure as heck don't." But somehow, you know I would never say such a thing! Come on, this is me right?

All I know is that I'm keeping too much inside and I'm running, but it's only a matter of time before I have to stop.

Dammit my mom is being a pain about the interent again. She says I should complain to the company because I got 3 different answers as to what I should do. Then my mom complained that I should be complaining and stuff to that company because their service is so crappy. See I wouldn't think this, I would think that at least I have some service, cause if I don't I wouldn't even know who to look for help from. For the first time, I think it sucks to have a open mind. Maybe it's better if I was just arrogant...

I'm sick and tired of it all. I don't seem to give a dymn about all the things I used to like. All I hear around me are negative things that I want to block out. I hate it all. I hate it. I've got problems.

Running, running as fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
Do you think we'll make it?
We're running, keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated