I keep swaying back and forth, some days I feel like I can talk to my friends, some days I still feel like they don't think I exist. I guess partly the reason is that I expect too much from people, because I guess, I want them to notice me, and sometimes they don't, and this annoys me. I guess it's because I feel like I have to be seen by everyone and always in the center of attention, and when I don't get this, I guess the way I react is to go into isolation.

Now, I know today is my birthday and maybe I should be talking about what kind of time I had today, but I'm afraid that if I talk about it...

Anyway... I don't know how I feel anymore. I'm totally confused, I'll tell you about my birthday another time. I just... I don't know...