I didn't really go to work today. I just stayed at home... and went online most of the time. Now that I got Stitch Revus, all I do is keep checking up on that. I feel kind of pathetic. I don't know, but I kind of like this new "hobby" of mine.

Anyway, nothing much has changed since yesterday. You know, I feel the need to write every single day because some reviewers grade you on how much you update your diary.

I'm not sure how I really feel, because all my thoughts are really scattered and ... I just don't know how I feel. I'm really confused. It feels kind of sucky because my birthday came and passed while I wasn't in my best of times. I'm glad I can say "I'm 16" and all, but I don't feel any different or whatever. Overall, yesterday was the best birthday I've had with my family in a long time, yet I wish I was happier and was able to enjoy it. A part of me felt like I was just standing by the side... watching what I was doing, yet another part, it felt like I was sitting there, pretending to be happy. I don't know if I'm pretending to be happy, because I don't know if I'm happy or not.

I really hate this. This part of life that I am at. I can be so depressed and upset with my friends and yet I can just hang and be cool with them. I don't know anymore. It's just... UGH!! I keep thinking about what I'm going to do and it ends up giving me a headache. I hate this. I hate it all. I don't know how much more I can take of this, I'm really trying to search for someone, someone that can understand me. I have no luck so far. I'm so lost... and so scattered... and I can't seem to clear my thoughts.

I feel so droggy and I feel like ... I don't know what I feel like.

I'm going to go play some SSBM, that always makes me forget everything.