The pain in my mouth was getting worse and it hurt too. For the while I doozed off thinking about if I should go to school today. First period is math, and that's like a free period, I figured missing that class wouldn't matter. 2nd period French, I didn't think really mattered, nothing I can't make up. Same for 3rd period, and I figured that I could do English homework by asking Enrique. 4th period is string class, and that's when I started to wonder if anybody even cared that I didn't go to school today. I know they noticed I didn't go to school, because I usually don't miss school days. I miss on average 1-2 school days a year. But I wonder if they really truely care, that's all. If Nancy didn't go to school, I might even think that she commited suicide. Well, anyway, then I wondered if Mr. Allen noticed I was gone... then I thought about Sophia, or June, Jaclyn... I wondered if Enrique or Christy noticed... or Mike... Then I stopped thinking about that and thought about 5th period. 5th period is the tricky one, because I wasn't sure if we were having a test or not. 6th period, I figured that I could get the notes we took from Enrique.
So I decided not to go to school, after thinking about this and a few more tossing and turning, I fell asleep. My mom woke me up later and I told her I didn't want to go to school, she said okay, and I went back to sleep and I didn't wake up until about 9AM. Then I ate some won tons. Amazing, the good food you get to eat when you're sick.
Then we went to the dentist. From what I comprehend ('cause it was a Chinese doctor), I had an infection awhile back, and some bacteria got into it. It hurt like hell this morning, but now it feels okay. There's just a big bump at the right side of my mouth. It feels numb, and when you compare it with the left, you can't feel the outlines of the jaw. You feel something being covered over it. If you press on it really hard, it hurts.
They gave me some medicine though, I hope it fixes though, because if it doesn't, I heard my dad say that I might need some form of operation. And besides that that will ruin my perfect record, I really don't want to go through the pain.
I know this is all caused by my friends. Isn't it ironic how that works? Friends are the people that are supposed to help you get through things, yet they caused me this. Mind you it was indirectly thought. I've been so stressed over them lately. It seems that even Jaclyn has let me down, because Jaclyn shared a secret with Nancy about who she likes that I don't know about. I just feel like I don't belong with my friends anymore. It's like they can't trust me or something. The worst part is that I trust them, I tell them stuff. I'll tell them who I like. I guess I do things with the thought that I except it back from them. What kind of person are you if you except someone to share their secrets with you, but they don't share it back? I can't stand hypocrisy.
Maybe I'm just wrong, maybe I'm not supposed to share my secrets with you. Fine then. I'll keep it all to myself. If you don't want to tell me, I don't want to you tell either. I guess I'm just not good enough for you people.
Sometimes all I do is sit there and think about what I did wrong, and here's what I did wrong: I sat there and thought about what I did wrong. I did nothing wrong! I did everything I wanted to do and would've like to do, it's what you guys didn't do that made it all wrong. The only other reason is that I can't pick good friends. I need someone who can live up to expections that I lay out. And because you don't follow by them, I end up like this.
I strive, I live, I work so fucking hard for all my friends, I hope everyone for the best, I give everyone the best I can, and I get nothing back! You know what I get back? I get sick! I get stressed! I have no happiness and it's all caused by my friends. I hate you all! I HATE YOU. YOU ARE ALL FUCKED UP AND I HOPE YOU FEEL THE PAIN THAT YOU HAVE CAUSED ME ONE DAY!