and I decided that I'm not gonna care anymore.
I know I'm like the person that likes to give everyone infinite chances, only to have them disappoint me, what's the point? They'll never understand. So I'm tired of giving people chances that they don't deserve. Nothing's going to change, so it's time I changed.
I'm only gonna care about the people that care about me from now on, and I'm not gonna cry over something like this. I'm really tired of the one doing this. I have yet to see Nancy or anyone else crying over this. It's not gonna work, even if I just up and decided to kill myself, they would still live their lives, while if they commited suicide I would be crying my ass off everyday wondering what I did wrong.
So I don't care anymore.
My mom said that when a friend gives you something, you give more back, and then they give more back to you, and so forth, so far all I see is me giving, and not recieving, so frankly I don't see the point anymore. It's not just about oh if I buy lunch for Nancy, she should buy me lunch back too, it's not that. I know she can't afford it, but she just doesn't care and I'm the only one caring. Her actions justifies that. I've never been a mean person, but I don't care anymore. You people will not take advantage of me.
I am not gonna buy you lunch, I will not let you drink my soda, have a piece of my cheesburger, borrow money from me or whatever it is you want. I will talk to you, and I will not hate you as a person, I just wont like you as a friend. I've seriously had it with you people. You guys piss me off, so I'm just gonna go to the people that truely care about me like Sarah, Enrique, and even David! David for god sakes' cares about me more than Nancy! Even Matt cares more, so I'm tired of it. I don't need to put up with this shit anymore.
My mom told me a story about this mom who had two daughters. One of the daughters had a businness where she sold fans, the other had a businness where she sold umberllas. Whenever it would rain she would worry about the daughter that was selling the fans because she wouldn't have any business, and whenever the sun was up and bright, the mom would worry about the daughter selling the umberllas. When all she really had to do was, when it was raining, think about the daughter that's making so much money selling umberllas, and when it was really hot, just think about the daughter making so much money off of selling the fans. It's all how you look at life. Even the most awful thing can be a positive thing.
From this, I can finally leave pain, I have discovered what type of person I am and I know what type of people to avoid and look for.
I'm not sorry we're not really close friends anymore. Why should I be? In this time of trying, I have only caused myself pain, and you've yet to try. No, I'm not sorry we're not good friend, I'm sorry I was too good of a friend to you.
Hey Sarah, if you're reading this, I want to say thanks for caring. You're a true friend :) I think I'll be coming back to school tomorrow, can't wait to talk to ya.