Yeah I suppose it's kinda late and I should be going off to sleep, but I need to take a shower... maybe I'll call Nancy later. My grades are getting worse. Today I missed 3 questions on Seko's test. Plus, my grade in Sancho's class lowered. I have a B for the quarter, but both quarter together I have a 91% which is barely an A, so I need to raise my grade up... really. I guess this isn't the best time to stress myself out, but thinking of the bright side, summer will be here really soon... and then maybe I'll get to relax for a short while. Then I gotta go to China... so much stuff to do, I don't think I'll be free until school stars for 10th grade. I am so fed up with my life. It's like all these stress is built up inside me and I need to find a way to release it. I wanna scream at someone or something, but that's cause there's just so much inside of me that haven't gotten out in a long time... of a lot of things that's happened in my life and how much things have become different, how much I've wanted things to change, and yet not wanted them to change. One thing I've wanted out of any of these was my search for happiness. I still want it more than anything, but I think happiness is earned, no? So I guess I just need all this shit to happen and get the best of me, cry my eyes out, scream until my ears hurt and hit someone until they bleed. Then I'll be happy, I think... because then I've suffered... I wanna cry dammit!! I can't stand it because nothing is going right and I'm doing bad in my important classes, even in some that aren't important like Mr. Sancho's class. Dammit... I can't take it. I wanna go cry... or scream... or something... this sitting here is really bugging me. I gotta go... bye.

*Lanie