Well, what happened yesterday was that I wrote this really long entry on the iMac at the library. At the last moment I got paranoid so I wanted to copy the whole thing in case something happened and the entry didn't save. Oh what a big and stupid mistake. My paranoia led to me deleting that entry because I pressed the wrong button. I don't really know how to operate iMacs cause they don't have that right click. So the whole entry got deleted. And it was a long entry too! I was so pissed.
Now I kind forgot what I was talking about the other day. I'm too pissed to try to remember. Oh, what a shame. My wise words have been deleted.
I made another dedication.
It's kind of my personal quote.
The last day of school was just crap. I don't think I really want to talk about it anymore. Everytime I think about it, I get really disappointed in myself.
Mr. Allen noticed I was quiet lately and he told me this on the last day of school. I'm kinda surprised he said something. He asked me what was wrong, but I didn't say much, I was feeling okay then. In fact, I'm still feeling okay now. I don't really care about Mr. Allen anymore, not like before anyway. I don't deserve this crap.
Summer school starts Monday. I'm so dreading it. People say that summer is supposed to be relaxing. Well, relaxing my ass. I wasn't supposed to go to summer school anyway. Now I've lost 2 hours that I could've had. I have to work till 4:30 and I have to practice piano. This is just like regular school, except I don't have to wake up so early. I can't wait for summer school to be over. Well, at least I still got the weekends. I haven't spoken to anyone outside of my house in awhile.
For some reason, I don't like to go out anymore. Looking forward to anything is a drag, because it never happens. I can't count on other people because they always let me down. Hope also lets me down. Maybe I hope for too much, but I don't think I hope for much at all, or maybe those little things that I hope for are just too hard to achieve. Now I'm just rambling about something that doesn't make sense. I don't know how I feel anymore. I just feel blah. I'm so tired of everything. I don't feel like I'm actually living. I'm just this person going through stuff. I feel dead inside.
*sigh* I wish you could understand.