I feel so unloved and uncared for lately. I guess it's just me cause I know people care for me, but I feel so alone. I'm so sick of everything and I have nothing to look forward to. :(
I still wish I'd have him. I can't get over him. I still miss him and the whole thing is crap because I should know better but I can't seem to control my feelings. I actually talked to him today... and it seemed so natural, like 2 friends, just talking, but I don't know... when I don't talk to him, it's different. I feel addicted to him.
It's kinda like a crush, but it's not... but I don't know. He's too busy to notice me and I don't want to say anything, because I know how hard it was for him to get over me and I really don't want to start something because I'm lonely, because I know if it's because I'm lonely... well, once I'm not lonely, it's deja vu all over again, and I don't need that... but arg!! I miss him so much.
He's constantly on my mind and perhaps too much... I don't know what to do. I hate this. I hate this... I REALLY hate this!
On the other hand, I saw Freaky Friday today with Denysia. That's an okay movie, not more or less of what I expected. I bumped into Nancy, but I'm not sure she saw us... we sure saw her though...
Then we tried on some dresses. One of them looked like a prom dress and that just reminded me even more of this one conversation I had with him once... Arg!! I can't get him out of my mind, everywhere I go, it's him, him, him! I'm never gonna get over this.