I had a dream two nights ago that he called me. I was at Denysia's house and it was about 2pm in the afternoon perhaps. He called me and I thought, maybe I should pinch myself to make sure it's real and then I thought, even if I pinch myself I won't wake up. So I didn't.

It was weird because I know that wasn't his voice... it sounded different, and it really took me awhile to figure out it was him. And once I asked him if it was him, the line went completely silent and I didn't hear anything else after that. I hung up the phone and walked around the room for about an hour (supposedly) and he never called me back.

*sigh* Something in me snapped a few moments ago, and I thought, "I sound pathetic." I mean, I guess there's pathetic-ness in this, but I can't help how I feel. I don't want to feel this way and I don't want to put him in this position. If only he even knew half of what I felt. Well, it'd complicate things for him, that's for sure. And I don't want to tell him, so I'm stuck here... writing this crap.

Oh, you know I wrote a song awhile back, but I don't have a melody for it. I'll post it up here soon...

It's not up yet... but please stayed in tune with my new site! Hosted by Som of course. Hmm... I got nothing else to say.

I just feel unloved, pathetic, alone and lonely, stuck, and like a bitch.