I've just been kinda thinking about how things work and etc., why things happen and how things can almost take your life away and how yet, sometimes you cannot stop grinning from ear to ear. Whether you are crying or smiling, there's always a reason for it. And I was thinking that maybe if you cry enough then one day you'll be happier, stronger... Hey, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger right? And all this time I've been saying that I've had enough of this and I can't take it no more and all that junk, but when things really get worse, you can't stop it, you can only deal with it and if you don't deal with it, you die because you can't handle the pressure. So far I've felt like screaming and yah, that's me for ya, but I've survived it. I think throughout all this band junk, it happens for a reason. Though it may not seem like it and sometimes it just plain sucks, I'm sure it's happening for a reason. These past few months, I have changed a lot. And I think it's true that in high school you really do find yourself. You know where you belong. Or at least you begin to. Though I've said that I would stay mad at certain people and say certain things, I can't quite do all of it. You don't change fast not like in a snap. I'm working on it, but I think I'll always stay me. I don't really hold grudges and I think that'll always be me. And maybe I'll always be taken advantage of, but one day someone will learn to appreciate it. For now... it's okay. Everything happens for a reason. What may seem bad may actually be a good thing. And sometimes what seems like a good thing may turn out bad. That's life I guess. It's okay. We'll learn to love it in the end. But for now, it's okay to hate it.

Well, I better go. I got Mystikal practice later tonight, but I'm not going to be around for the parade, I wonder when the season ends. I'll see what happens. Well, I'll be leaving now. Life is finally, for the most part ok. It's just scars that need healing, but I'm working on it. On the bright side, at least the scar didn't get so deep that it cut off a part of my body. Of course, there's always gonna be a scar, but I think that's a good thing. It'll remind me of what I did wrong ...and what I did right.

*Lanie