My failure in AP US history only makes me want to try harder. So that's what I'm doing. I don't like being by myself because when I am, I get so frustrated by all this stress, and I can't stand it. I still feel like crying, but I haven't yet. Let's see how long it lasts.

Sometimes I don't understand why people can say "look up" and you'll find the light or not to give up and stuff. And how people say "when you're down, you can only go up." Is this neccesairly true? No, it's not. How do you know how low you can get before you go up? And who's to say that we go up at all? The only reason we think that we go up is because of patterns. We learn from this pattern and we expect that things will go up. But what if one day that pattern breaks? In reality, we really don't know for sure that things will get better. It's just something we say to cheer people up. It's not a bad thing, because even I say it, but I also know that there's a good chance that I'm actually lying.

You can give me your nice comments, but there's still fear in the back of my mind. Only when it happens, will I finally listen. I'm just too realistic like that.

Did anyone watch Skin yesterday? I love that show! It's not just a modern Romeo and Juillet, it's more realistic too.