I dislike family life because all I can ever think about is how things used to be. It just gets worse and worse pretty much every day. I wish I could talk to my mom again, but we don't understand each other anymore. I wish she was home more often, because then I know things would fix themselves naturally. The problems always come because she's never home. I used to feel fat because my dad used to cook nice dinners that I really liked and I kept getting seconds, now he's never home either so I hardly eat dinner. And I don't ever feel hungry.

I have this fear that I might actually be addicted to alcohol. I don't think I am, but I don't want to be dumb and deny it if I am. Everytime I get liquor, I can't seem to have a just a little bit, I have to have at least half a cup, and I make myself stop there. But the thing is, I drink a lot more often than I used to... like at least once a week, before it was like once every one to two months. At the rate it's going... I don't know, maybe I'm paranoid, but I guess it's good that I notice this. I need some self control.

I don't think I did well on today's AP US test. I'm not really surprised, perhaps I'm disappointed in myself... but I feel rather numb. I just really dislike how things are going in my life. I don't really belong anywhere, that's all.

The only good thing that happened today was, me, Tony, and Eliut went to Jamba Juice and I got to try a Peach Pleasure (peach is probably my favorite fruit). It was really good! I want to try different flavors before I decided on the best one though. While I was driving, I noticed this pattern in this cross section and Eliut didn't believe me so he says, I'll bet you a Starbucks it's not true, and I bet him so now he owes me a Starbucks ^_^ Eh hehehehe...

*Sigh* I love the good times, but when I'm not in one, I'm so down because I'm surrounded by these happy memories of the past, and all it does is make me sad and make me want the old days back. Everyone was so much happier. Is it just me or as if we get older, things get crappier? Sucks, really.