Yah, it's kinda late in the year for it, but I never really had one, but now I do. Yah, it's the middle of June, but then again, who gives a shit right? Exactly. So what is this new years resloution exactly? To be myself. I'm always on about how I like to please others, and if I screw up, that I gotta fix everything. You know sometimes you just wish that you could stop caring. I suppose that's my biggest problem. So yah, I'm really tired of this shit. I'm tired of caring. So from now on, I'm not gonna care. I know I've said it a million times, but honestly, why should I care? Lately, it seems that I'm the one that only cares, and I'm tired of doing the dirty work. If they don't care, then why should I? obviously, if they don't care, then I don't mean enough to other people to be cared about and if that's the case then screw that shit. I'm not going to be considerate. First thing: I'm gonna cuss myself out. I do cuss a lot, but hell, I'll do a lot more of it now. If you're mad at me, then you should be the one to tell me, don't expect me to know or care. Lastly, I'm tired of this so open mindedness that I have. Yah, I guess that's who I am, but from now on, I'm not gonna blame everything on myself. I did everyone else the favor when I blamed myself because I believed that if you're mad at someone else, then you must've done something wrong also, I mean for every action, there's a reaction right? So I'm tired of doing that favor to you. You seem to want me to think the other way too. So here it is. If I'm mad, I'll go ahead and be mad at you. And if I feel like it, I'll go out and say that I am mad at you. And if I'm jealous, I'll act mad even if technically/logically, I have nothing to be mad about. I'll complain about you. I'll say all kinds of fuck in front of you. I'll tell you if you are annoying me. I'll be straightforward, because I think that's what I've wanted to do for a long time. So this is my new years resolution. And if you haven't been all that nice to me, I suggest you watch out...

One last note. Jason was actually nice to us today. We were marching and at the end Jason said someting like, "good job guys, you're improving". I think that's the first compliment I've ever heard him say to me ... or me and other people. Whichever. I noticed it. That's really cool. He should do it more often.

Well, see yas.

*Lanie