I'm not sure why I still have these mood swing. Despite what the test says I probably do still suffer from some sort of borderline. That is, that my mood constantly changes. It seems to me that I'm in a bad cycle that I can't seem to shake. Perhaps the problem is that I don't know where the cycle starts and ends.
I told myself that I shouldn't do a review site because I know that in the end I would lose interests and not want to review anymore, and yet I did it anyway. Now there are 3 people waiting for a review and I haven't really the time to even do them, but then again, I wasn't exactly planning to have chicken pox these days was I? I don't know what's going to happen to my review site... but it's not that I find reviewing boring. I do want to see other people's diary. I do want to see that there are great writers out there and there is! I find Alex's diary absolutely great. His entries doesn't consist of much words, but they are so straight to the point, and that's what I like about it. There isn't the consistancy to explain everything, and that's kind of what I hate about some other people's diaries. That's why I hate reading those people's diaries and I don't want to review these people, but I find that I don't know how to get out of it when they apply for a review.
I don't want to review these people. If I don't like a diary in that first moment, then I know that I'm not gonna enjoy this diary, so why should I even try?! Right, I have to give it a chance. Don't judge a book by it's cover. You know that quote, is just that dumb! How else are we gonna judge it by? You know what the right quote is? Don't give a bad cover to a good book! Of course we're gonna judge the book by the cover, that's how we know if we're gonna be interested in the book. It's just such a ridiculous quote.
Anyway, why am I rambling about this...?!
I hate the fact that there's about 10 letters in my inbox from strangers. They all want me to make customs for them! It never ends. It's no wonder people do customs for a fee! These people really drive me up a wall. I'm waiting for emails from the people I finished the customs for, but instead of email from those people, I get these email from new people that want customs. It never ends! I'm so sick of all of it!
And I'm back to manging 3 diaries, including this one. I think maybe it's time I cooled down a little bit especially with all the homework that I'm going to need to catch up on. Did I also mention that there's a recital this weekend? I haven't practiced the piano in over a week because of my chicken pox, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just so sick of everything.
It's funny because one day I'm really happy and then the next I get so frustarted. I don't understand how or when things became like this. I don't understand it at all. And the people I need most, they're not even here. I have nobody that cares about me enough. I mean, readers, you guys are wonderful and I love you all to death, because without you guys, I don't think that I'd even have the inspiration to write in here as much as I do and pour out all my feelings like this, but when it comes down to it, you guys never really talk to me, just read what I have to say. And I'm okay with that and I'm sure you probably care about me in some form that I don't know, but what I really need right now is a friend that is here in presence that I can break down crying to and have that person hold me.
And the only person that's ever been able to do that for me is Mike and Enrique. And as we all know, or at least I do, Mike is in Florida and I haven't heard from him since I last saw him and Enrique is at his school in Valley View... and what am I doing? I'm writing in here about how I feel about all of this.
When did things beccome like so?