Right now, I'm actually feeling pretty good, which is pretty rare for me. I guess I should feel pretty panicked because I haven't finished that big essay... but I don't know, life's too short to worry, I guess.
You know, I think that somewhere along the way, I forgot who I was writing for in this diary. I hate to admit it, but since it's been so quiet lately, with Stacey and her computer problems, Nate temporarily leaving diaryland, and Sommer not being online since October, I've begun to realize that no matter what (even those online), the people I have good friendship with eventually leave me, sure, they'll come back, but it's just that I've realized that I do depend on people too much and I do notice these little things. I suppose it hasn't been hurting that bad, because lately, I've had Jeff... but I can only wonder how I'll feel once he goes away again. Sure, he'll come back, but during the time where he's gone... ugh. I don't really want to think about it. I don't know. When I'm so happy with him, I wonder why we're not together, because I can be so happy while he's so far away... imagine the happines when I'm with him... but I know I'll end up hurting and perhaps maybe that's what hurts me most of all.
Maybe I just shouldn't think about this kind of stuff at all. Why buy the cow when the milk's free?