'Cause I wanted to fly, so you gave me your wings.
It hasn't even been a week and I've already pretty much broken my New Years' resolution. I am far too lazy to talk to anyone new and the fact is that I've brought home my radio/CD player, and all I've been doing the past few hours is listening to Michelle Branch (Spirit Room). Every single song reminds me of the past. The New Years' resolution was supposed to help me put the past actually behind me, but it didn't at all.
...Hoping everything's the same, but everything has changed.
But the thing is, I don't care that I broke my resolution. I don't think I ever even meant to follow it. I don't know why I made that resolution. I could never put the past behind me, but I think that's okay now. I don't mind my past anymore.
It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror. I guess that I was blind, now my reflection's getting clearer.
One of my friends told me that Nancy is going to break up with Brandon, supposidly because he's too emotional. I don't know if that's true, but I know Brandon is pretty emotional, so I guess it's a possibility. What makes me sad about this is the fact that it's so hard to find an emotional guy like Brandon. He's really open and honest and he deserves so much, but it seems that only pain surrounds his life. Isn't it a bit ironic that girls look for a guy that will be understanding and expresses his feelings and stuff, and here's one and a girl that wanted a guy like that ends up complaining about their guy anyway. I wonder if I'm somewhat like that.
In my heart I see what you're doing to me.
I'm really glad to be home. Today is the last day of break... I hope I can wake up on time tomorrow. I wish the world wasn't so corrupted like this. If only Mike was here. I can still remember that one conversation we had a long time ago. I told him how I'd somehow always managed to get hurt by people I care about. I told him my beliefs about how I see myself as a guardian angel, and how I'd said that I was born in the wrong time. And he said to me, "No, you were born in the right time, everyone else was born in the wrong time."
I still love you like I did before, I know for sure.
I really miss Mike, the one person I thought I could always confide in. I realized that he was going to be gone at the end of June, but I didn't realize it would end up like this. I feel as if I've lost him forever. I could see him, talk to him on the phone, or even write to him, but I know it wouldn't be the same, because what's the point? He's grown up and I've just got left behind... I know our friendship will last forever, but that friendship is only in my mind now. I can remember everything and the way it was, but I know that it'll never come back again. All the good times I've had with him, they'll only be in my mind.
When there's you, I feel whole and there's no better feeling in the world.
Not everything from my past is all bad I suppose. I remember the days of being young. Heh, I remember looking at cartoon porn in a shop when I was about 5. Of course, I had no idea what it was about at the time... just naked people. I remember my teachers then too. I remember my smile, and I wish I could get it back. To quote Frankie Muniez from Malcomn in the Middle, "the best thing about growing up is that you only have to go through it once."
Goodbye to everything that I knew.
I remember that night where I went bowling with Nancy and the Reyes', how I hoped that feeling of enjoyment would never end, but somehow everything eventually ends, because nothing is forever for some reason... It was only 2 hours of my life, but for some reason, I never forgot those 2 hours. I would love to experience those 2 hours again.
Love lead me to you and love opened up my eyes.
Of course I can't forget Jeff. So many endless possibilites goes through my mind at the mention of just four simple letters. If anyone's had an impact in my life, it would be him. Should I say something positive, or something negative? But for some reason, when it comes to Jeff, everything negative is everything positive. And everything positive is everything negative. Of course, that makes no sense, but perhaps it's not supposed to. Everything between us is such a mystery and I don't think that's about to change soon, but I think that's a good thing.
When I wake you're never there, when I sleep you're everywhere.
I miss my middle school years also. That was only 3 years ago, but I still had my innocence then. I had everything then. I hadn't had to deal with anything yet. And then love came and blinded me, took everything from me... and yet love never left me. Love is like a bridge that you can only use to walk forward, never backwards. Love can only guide you forward. That's the beauty of it. Once you find love, it never leaves you, ever.
Still you want me all the time, yeah you do, 'cause you get me.
Friends may come and go, but family is forever. I used to love my parents, but then dad corrupted me. I couldn't tell mom; it would devastate her. I learned to cope and I learned to understand. I became stronger and then I thought I could fight them. Betrayal from their own daughter, they'd never understood, because they believed in me too much, and so I believe in myself too. It's hard to believe what I've done to them 2 years ago. Sometimes, it seems like just yesterday... a lot of things seems like it was just yesterday.
I'm sinking slowly so hurry hold me, your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on.
And that leads me to today. Everything that everyone's done. You've made me who I am today. It's all in the past, but somehow the past is what I am in the present.
If you want to, I can save you.
I can take you away from here.
So lonely inside, so busy out there.
And all you wanted was somebody who cared.