I just reread some of the last few entries I've written and I sound so sad in all of them. I don't know, it's weird, but like I said, whenever I'm alone, especially when I'm on this computer, I immediately fall into this trance almost and this happy side of me leaves and I feel so numb and that always makes me sound sad. But I'm not so sure that I'm actually sad. Then my mind turns every song into something sad. All the noises around me changes into a straight wavelength like y=1 instead of some sine curve like y=sin3.

Jed and I went to Jamba Juice today. The drink made me cold in the already cold weather which makes me wonder why we bought a $3.75 drink just to get cold... but we really couldn't concentrate on the chemistry homework. Jed says that I'm the only close friends he has at school besides Reina (his cousin). All his other friends are people from church. I find it kind of funny that he's such a church person. He goes pretty often.

I have not been able to think the same way about Jeff ever since that dream I had two nights ago. It's not anything bad, if anything it really helped me. I don't want to really talk about it, but it really helped me to see some things in a new way I guess.

You know, lately I just haven't been in a good diaryland mood really. I think I've lost my attachments towards diaryland. Sometimes I don't really want to write anything in here. Maybe because I've said all I needed to, or maybe I'm just lazy... but I wouldn't feel bad for missing an entry. Sometimes, I think the only reason I still write in here is to keep adding on entries, so I could have more. I would almost think that it's time to leave diaryland... but last time I said that I came back, so I guess we'll just see what happens for now.