It's a little late. Jed just left to do his English project and I just finished watching Memento. Very, very good movie, but so very confusing. If anyone's seen it and want to talk about it with me, you're more than welcome because I'm confused about it.

I'm so sleepy right now so I can't wait to just climb into bed after this entry...

So I did see Chasing Liberty. It was an okay movie. Mandy Moore was too dramatic. It kinda made me sad on some parts. And at the end where there was some shots of London, I just thought, I wonder where that is? Maybe Jeff can show me one day. I don't know, the whole thing just kinda made me feel sad.

Actually, everything's making me pretty sad these days. Especially when I'm alone or lying in bed and I just think about this kind of stuff. I don't really want to. They make me smile, yeah, but then there's this overall sad feeling despite the smile.

I also rented Alex and Emma, which is a great movie. I wish I could stop watching these kinds of romance movies. I mean, it never makes me feel good at the end, because it just reminds me of what I don't have. Instead of thinking, Aww... that's so cute or that's so sweet *smile* *smile* I'm just sort of sitting there covered in a warm blanket with a thought of Why am I watching this movie? But then, I see it at the video store and it's just calling out my name. I can't help it, it's like a bad addiction that I can't shake.

I don't know. Romance movies are great if you had someone next to you that you could lean on. You know, rest your head on their shoulders. All I have are pillows and sometimes I don't even have that. I just get so frustrated wanting something like this.

I'm just gonna go. Not think about the movies I watched, Jeff or someone to hold onto. Just watch TV.

God, I love it when he calls me, and when we hang up, I love this feeling I get, but that can only last for so long. And then I'm back to feeling like... like I'm missing something. I feel like I'm in love again, but I've just got so much more awareness and sense.