Thing is, I'm not sure what I really feel anymore. It's too confusing so I just try to live it one day at a time, which is what I like best anyway. I'm tired of the way I feel right now, but I can't change the way I feel. I think maybe my diary is so much of a repetition. Like, nothing in my life ever changes.
Not many of you know this, but I've opened up a secret diary a long time ago. The reason you don't have access to it is because it's too private. I probably don't talk about you and if I did, it's probably something nice, but I don't want people to see it because then they'd know too much about me, things that they don't need to know or shouldn't know. Maybe you'll find my diary, who knows?
By now, since I've just realized that my days are repetition, I want to close this diary and only write in my secret one. But I know that's not going to work, because I've already put too much effort, love and care into this one and I want to continue to see it grow, and therefore, I can't leave yet. I really hope that I can leave diaryland one day, because I just don't want to be so dependent on diaryland forever.
And it seems that I have become very dependent now... And I wish I wouldn't, because who knows what'll happen? Something will happen, and then I'm back to the way I was... the way things were - alone.