I actually wanted to write about this yesterday, but I wrote 3 entries yesterday and yeah, that's too much for most people probably.
Well, some of you know that I dislike Clare, right? She's such a girly girl, but the main reason why I dislike her so much is that she's so fake, like there's no real emotion behind what she says or how she acts... it's not how she actually feels. She acts like a certain way to be seen in a certain way, but that's not who she really is. I hate people like that, why do you think I'm so outspoken? I'm gonna be me, and I'm going to be honest about it. I hate wasting time pretending to be someone I'm not.
Friday, Bo and I were talking about the people at our school and stuff. I guess to some degree we were gossiping. I'm finding it pretty easy to talk to her, but I hate opening up to her, because I know if I do it too much, she won't be here next year and I know it's gonna hurt, it's hard to find people that listens I guess. So anyway, she mentioned Clare, which I was wondering what about and I was surprised to hear her say that she thought that she was fake! I mean, I was so surprised! I'd never expect that from her. She said that she's only recently started thinking that about her and I don't know, I was just so glad she thought that, because no one can seem to understand why I don't like her.
I have some kind of clairvoyance, where I immediately know what kind of person anyone is, and if I don't like you in the beginning, it's beccause I already know what kind of person you are, and I don't like you. You might think that I'm judging a book by a cover, and I might really be messing out, but so far, this has worked out pretty well for me. Maybe I did miss some great people, but if it was meant to be, then something would've happened to bring us together again.
Sometimes, I think that I see so much that other people don't. And I don't warn them about it because people don't believe you, because they are too stubborn and they already have their own opinion, but mostly people are blind. And I refuse to be blind. I think this may have something to do with the fact that I used to be such a big push over, but I enjoy letting others have their way if it makes them happy. I'm aware when I'm being a push over. But before, I was so blind and I think because of all my experiences with so many different people, I've begun to realize that there are only so many types of people and I've already pretty much met them all. I already know if I like a person or not, and I like that because I don't have to waste my time.
It's just that sometimes, I wish other people weren't blind either, then they could understand me and the way I think. I can't make them see anything if they want to be blind, they have to see it themselves, I can't make them, so forever blind they'll be until one day they realize it themselves, because talking doesn't work, only experience... and the sad thing is, some people will be blind for the rest of their lives.