It's late and I should sleep, but I am not surprised to find myself online. I don't have anything in particular to say, but I guess I just felt like writing. It's weird being back here, because I think that somehow, I thought that I was going to leave diaryland, even after almost 800 entries. That's hard to believe, I'm sure, but I guess I really did think that this was it, but I guess I am back.

That makes me wonder how much longer I will last. It was weird this time around because I did not care for writing in all my fun activities. I guess, for once I felt that I could confide in someone else, and not just diaryland, but I was wrong. I can't confide in other people. They won't understand. They would never understand. How could they when they don't realize what I've been through? And I'm not in that position where I want to give myself away like that, so they could take a piece of me or my heart and throw it back at me as if it's trash. I can't bare going through that. Why should I set myself up like that? I haven't been able to confide in people since a certain someone, and I'm not about to start now. I like the way things are and I don't think I'm going to find anyone worth talking to about anytime soon...

Does anyone understand what I mean? God... I wish I could explain it better, but what's the point? I wish I was charming, witty and intelligent, but I am not. I am not any of those things.

Now, I'm going to bed because I'm tired from playing about 4 hours of tennis, and staying at school for about 7 hours. And when I sleep, I'll probably dream about fucking him again!

... I wish I understood my sudden burst of anger... but don't worry about it, by tomorrow, no one will remember... and even more so, no one will care. Bitch.