I thought I was gonna be gone last night, but it turns out we're leaving tonight... It feels so weird that I won't be home to watch fireworks this year. We've been watching the fireworks every year now since we moved here about 5 years ago. I always looked at it as a time to reminisce the past, and already, I remember the things that I was thinking about last year... and just like that, this year has gone by, it's over.

My mom and I had a huge fight yesterday... that was one of the worsts I've seen yet. The relationship I built with my mom is slowly deteriorating, and I know that for a fact because we're bickering everyday about stupid little things. Not that yesterday's huge fight wasn't a bickering either. I don't understand why the fuck we're fighting. To me, it seems like she's just picking away at everything that she can. She's always whinning about something. Frankly, at this point I don't really care. I don't want to make things better between us because it takes work that I'm not willing to do. All I have to do is wait a year more and then I'll be off to college, somewhere not near here. If I have to live at home next year, I will be very unhappy.

Yesterday's fight was about for me becoming a U.S. citizen. She wanted me to look for these forms and I got impatient. What sucks is that I knew this was coming, and I could hear the impatientness in my own voice, but I couldn't control it, which made feel really bad... until she said I had a bad attitude because of that and started bitching. What happened was that she cut me off right in the middle of a review I was doing and I couldn't try to explain that to her. She would think that I was just having fun on the internet... chatting or whatever... Fuck. She threw a huge fit and ended up crying... She was wheezing like crazy too and locked herself up in the bathroom. I told her to come out and not to cry over this petty argument, but she wouldn't come out. I gave up and went to my room, where I vent out my anger in my newly found interest, a journal. I guess, I was just lying there, thinking to myself, and somehow I just had to write it down, I guess.

After that, I took a nap, and I had dreams about something, but they were all Jeff-less, which I was happy with. I didn't have any dreams about Jeff last night either, so I'm guessing they're gone now. I don't know why they had to come in the first place. Anyway, after the nap, my mom woke me up at 5pm and apologized. I said sorry too, but I wonder what she was apologizing for, and I wondered why I apologized too.