The smell of fireworks is all around me and I love it. Especially, when it's so loud that the car alarms turn on. It's almost 10pm, so I guess we'll be leaving soon. I read a Linda Howard book, and that was the highlight of my day. I love all her books. Mystery and romance; awesome. I totally get lost in shit like that.

The whole day was a lot of preparing for the trip. My mom bickered at me once for not helping her prepare because I was on the computer... trying to finish that review I was working on yesterday.

I've finally realized something, close friends aren't my thing. I don't think I should want one anymore either. I keep hoping or expecting that something would build, but nothing does, and each time I force it from someone... that never works out either. Rushing into something is easy, but getting out is so fucking hard, you have no idea, especially if you're not a down right cruel person, and I'm not... so it's hard. I decided that there's no point in hoping anymore... I don't want to bother with it.

Diaryland is the only thing that I could ever rely on, and it makes perfect sense. You don't expect anything back, and it always listens. It's perfect. To hell with humans.