So I haven't written in two days. I was busy most of Friday and yesterday I was too depressed to write. I don't really have much to say these days. I get the feeling that I'm going to be writing inconsistantly again... an update a week or something. It doesn't seem like I have a long consistant desire to write in diaryland anymore. What is there to write about? I'm not leaving diaryland, but my updates will probably be inconsistant for awhile, that's what I think anyway.

Friday, Susan invited me to see I, Robot, but I didn't really get to go... my parents went out and I had to stay home and watch my brother.

To make it short, cause I have to go soon, I thought a bunch of people weren't going and Eric wasn't, so I thought oh well... but then I found out Eric did go... so all of a sudden after I found that out, I got depressed... because I want to hang out with Eric that much... I really don't think I like Eric, but I have this obsession to spend time with him and to get to know him and be his best friend. I don't get why that is.

I had a dream about him last night too, and I was jealous, because... I think he wasn't best friends with me? Or something like that, it was a really weird dream and I know it invovled that jealousy feeling... I don't really get it, why am I obsessing over wanting a close friend like that? I guess that's just the way it is. I get broken hearted by best friends, but I need a best friend to confide in how I feel about that, so I want one despite the pain... Gah.