By some miracle that he does go online, I wait for him to IM me first, because I don't want to seem like I've been waiting for him to be on, even though I have.
He IMs me and says "hi" and asks "how are you?"
I answer "okay" or "good" ... some kind of lie, generally.
Then we talk a little more, but I sound so bitter. I sound stoic as if I don't care about him either way or what's going on in his life... like I'm apathetic.
He says he has to go and all I can say is "ok" and "bye".
I sound like a cruel hearted bitch, but in reality, I love him so much.