Yesterday, I went to Gautam's house and a bunch of my friends and I watched Elf and I, robot. After that we watched some episodes of Family Guy.
I hung around with Eric some more after that and finally I sent him home about an hour ago, only because I had to go home.
He told me last night/this morning (around 4/5 am) that he loved me. I was so surprised that I wasn't sure I had heard right. I was really sleepy and tired... and kind of out of it... and we were just holding each other... quiet and he just said it. "I love you". I felt my heart melt and do flips or something, whatever it is that happens. And then I just wanted to kiss him forever, but I was too tired to do that so instead I said "I love you too".
But I am kind of doubting whether I really do or not... I don't know why that is. I mean, that's odd because I feel so comfortable with Eric... I'm not shy or embarrased... I'm me and I've never been that way before. How could this not be love? Am I just overanalyzing everything again? I kinda wished something would happen so that I would know for sure if I really loved him. Is it wrong to tell him I love him when I'm not sure? I swear though... that when I was alone with him in the past few times holding each other, I've wanted to say it... because it felt right... it was the right moment... but I never said it because I thought it was way too fast. It's only been about a month and a half.
Even though I'm not with him right now, I swear, I feel like he is because my skin is still tingling from his touches and it feels like he's holding me right now. I swear that I can still taste him in my mouth. Is that normal? I don't even know anymore. I don't know anything. These things I'm experiencing with Eric are all so new to me. It's not that I don't like it, but it gets me kinda scared. We're moving so fast.
Mom gave me a small lecture because I came home so late. I'm so surprised by how accurate she is sometimes. She asked me if I was hanging out with a boy last night. Of course I said no, but how does she know to ask these questions right when they happen? She mentioned a little about getting pregnant and that if I were to, my future would be gone because she won't let me go to college. If I were to get pregnant though... I know I would get an abortion, but I really don't want to be put in that position so I'm going to give it my all to avoid that situation.
Anyway, enough of this crap... Merry Christmas.