I think I might consider starting an account at fictionpress.com so I can post my past stories and stuff. Maybe it'll get me more motivated to write... and then people could actually read my stories... if they wanted to... Yeah, you're right... maybe I shouldn't bother.
Today, I went to the library and helped one of my friends with calculus... It was so tiring after awhile. I tried doing some of my own homework, but I just got a bigger headache. I think I need help as well.
I saw Eric yesterday. We went to the movies to see Meet the Fockers, which I really liked. It was just about good as the first... but with movies going on these days, it's hard to find any good movies, so Meet the Fockers is definitely a must-see.
Eric at one point told me before that he likes being the girl in a relationship, like he does girly things. He takes my arm and hugs it tightly and I don't know... he does some weird stuff. Anyway, that kinda bothered me at first because I thought that that meant I would have to take the first move with things and I'm not good at that. But at the movies, when he wanted to hold me, he just put his arms around me as if he did it all the time... but then, he does do it all the time... Haha. So, that's cool. I'm glad I don't have to worry about that anymore.
I don't remember if I ever said this before, but Eric claims that he's shy around girls. And I swear that he's not shy around me at all. If I didn't know any better, I would think that he's a normal guy.
After the movie we went to Macaroni Grill because I had this $20 gift certificate. The food there was really good and the people there gave us crayons to draw on the paper that was on the table. It was pretty cool. We drew and played hang man... fun.
I went home early because I thought I had piano lessons, but it turns out there wasn't any that day so I went to see him again later in the evening. I swear that Eric is everything I look for in a guy. Sometimes, I still wake up in awe. I mean, it's not like I wake up thinking "I'm with Eric" everyday, but when I do realize that's what's happening, I have trouble believing it and it's been a month and a half. But then sometimes realizing that I'm with Eric seems like such old news, as if I've known it for like 10 years or something. And I think it's no big deal.
That brings me to my last entry about Andrew. I've realized that Andrew is one of those guys that flirts with everybody and for a second there I guess I got caught up in having fun flirting. I think that for a second, I thought that breaking up with Eric would be no big deal because I could back to this world of harmless flirting. But when I realize afterwards what I have just thought, I immediately panic and ask myself what the fuck I was just thinking. I don't really mean that. I constantly have these inconsistant feelings and I wish it would stop. When I can think sensibly... when I see how great and feel how great it is to be with Eric, I know for sure, this is what I want, no doubts at all. And I wouldn't want to do anything to ruin what I have with him.
I can't express how great Eric can be. I just love him so much. I hope he never leaves me. I hope he doesn't wake up one day and realize he's with me. I'm just nothing.
There's a lot of other things I want to say as well, but I guess I want to keep this diary PG-13 and I'm also scared that somebody I know is reading this... I've asked two people not to, but I don't know if they listened. I think they did. Another person knows this diary as well, but I don't think she reads it anymore. Anyway, I'll write all of this in my other locked diary, so if you wanted the rest of this entry, feel free to ask me for the password if you haven't already.
Alright, I'm out. Love you all.