I was trying to do some homework, but it's hard to read when your mom comes into your room and starts lecturing at your brother. I wish she would do this in another room, so I could concentrate on my homework, but yeah... so much for that. I can't even fully concentrate on writing this entry because of their stupid lecture. Gah, it's annoying...

Anyway, today is the last day of 2004. I don't really care all that much, but it's all good. I'm just so not looking forward to going back to school. God, that pisses me off. I really don't want to go back. I've totally gotten lazy over the past 2 weeks, I guess... which is totally not good because I don't really get another day off until a good two weeks. Ah, thank you Martin Luther King.

You know it's only 6 more months till I graduate and that seems like a really long time, but I know it won't be. Despite this, I really want to graduate. I hope it'll pass by fast, or fast enough. I can't wait till my AP tests are over, then it'll be home free. One whole month of doing nothing. I'm going to love it.

Things with Eric are great again. Yeah, I know, just watch... Tomorrow they will be crap again... Gah, I hope not. Eric had to leave the computer for awhile yesterday so I had some time to calm down. Then I felt much better and after we talked, things were so great. Eric gets me so happy...

Alright, one final thing, I wrote a song about my inconsistancy. Enjoy.

Constantly Inconsistant
I can't figure out for the life of me
Why there are two sides of my heart
One wanting the opposite of the other
Switching whenever it feels convenient
It rapes everything good
It turns me apathetic
My feelings I cannot control
My heart I want to kill
If my indecision doesn't kill it first

Constantly inconsistant
That's the only thing consistant
My feelings go goodbye soon as you come
Running around in my head
The bad one comes and punches you in the face
While the other runs to you for your embrace
Lets see which one will win the race

I could float on clouds while falling straight down
Hitting right down into the core
And I am lost in this swirl of emotions
I could go farther or closer, tell me which
I'm sorry that's too far
My heart wants to be closer
I'm not sure what it is I want
And even if I knew
I'm sure I would change my mind again later

You bring me this shrill, this high
And then you are the greatest guy
A second later, it's goodbye
I'm sorry but I guess I lied