I knew this was coming. I guess in a way, I already knew that it came, but in that moment, it really, finally hit me that I was in love with Eric.
And I just kind of lost it. I guess I got really scared. I thought I was ready, but in those moments, I was so scared that I would lose Eric. I'm still so scared of losing him. I started crying a bit... just a few tears. I guess I was being so overdramatic, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't even understand what it was that I was feeling. I just knew that it was so crazy that I could fall in love with someone this fast. And while I was trying to hold my tears back, Eric noticed what was going on and he kept telling me not to cry, which only makes you want to cry more, but I seriously felt my heart melting... because I love Eric so much.
And to make it worse, he kept saying "I love you... Anna, I love you". How can you not lose it, hearing something like that? He says that he'll always be here, but I wonder if he's thinking realistically at all. I want him to promise me that he'll always be there, but I don't want him to live up to something like that when neither of us knows what's gonna happen.
And then I thought about what I had said... that I was falling and falling hard and that I didn't care. The truth is that, I do care. I so totally care. I don't want to end up hurt again and I know for sure that I will. Realistically speaking, it's not like Eric and I will last forever. I mean, it's not like I don't hope it'll happen. I totally think about what if we marry and stuff like that, but realistically... what are the chances? I guess I can hope that it doesn't end in too much pain, but let's face it, it will hurt. It's just a matter of how much. And then I decided that I don't care. I cannot avoid falling in love, I knew it from the beginning and falling in love with Eric might be a good thing. It will be worth it, I know so.
The other thing is, when I told all of this to Eric today, he said that he was already in love with me. It turns out that to Eric, loving me and being in love with me is the same thing. He's been in love with me for about 2 weeks and a half now. I totally can't believe it... and I thought I was falling fast.
He thinks I'm crazy for thinking that loving someone and being in love with someone are different things. Do you think it's different? Or the same?