In the past some days I've realized that Asil doesn't like me. There were little signs all along. The first was when she took me off her friends list at myspace. I even wrote her a piece of email on that asking her why we weren't friends and I requested to be her friend again, but nothing happened. Then there's the fact that she didn't subscribe to my xanga when she used to on her old one. She left a mean comment on my xanga, I think she was trying to pass off as kidding, but whatever. Finally, the last time she IMed me was on the 7th to ask me who p b was on my away message. What pisses me off is that she said "dear" as if she really cared about me, but by that time we already weren't friends on myspace, so I know she didn't like me already then.
I'm sure she doesn't like me because I have Eric though. The odd thing is though that I think that she doesn't believe that I'm with Eric... or I mean, she refuses to accept it.
I just feel sick to my stomach. I've always hated people who just pretend to be my friend. I hate fake friendships and I hate people who try to be my friend even though they don't want to. I hate it when people think that that's okay, because it's not. It's not okay that you don't like me and only IM me to get the information you want, so you could walk all over me. It's not okay. I don't know why people can do that. I thought I had passed those kinds of people.
I'm tired of feeling so miserable inside. I know I shouldn't get myself worked up over these little things. I mean, it really is little because we were never that close of friends, but it just makes me sad that people would do that. It makes me sad how people could be okay with that. It devastates me that Asil knew that little about me in the frist place, that she couldn't even be honest to save me pain. I think that she really doesn't like me, otherwise why the comment on the xanga. If she didn't want to be friends with me, fine, just stop talking to me, but she IMs me about who p b is and she leaves a mean comment on my xanga. She obviously does want to hurt me. She probably doesn't realize how much it hurts me though. I hate people who can't be straightforward to me. Honesty is everything. It's absolutely everything.