The first time I met her was through this website gahrsucks.com, which was a board made by a Gahr student or an alumni of Gahr. It was never revealed who exactly made the website, but anyway, I met her through there. I thought she was friendly and we talked for awhile, IMing. Then we stopped over the summer.
I met Eric, not through Asil at all. I met Eric at an AP US study session at the library in May. I'm not sure if I met Asil first or Eric, but it was about the same time, just totally different ways. I hung out with Eric all summer, unlike the way that I didn't talk to Asil till about October.
It was good to talk to Asil in a way I guess, because it was like talking with an old friend again. I always thought she was a pretty cool person, just really girly and I knew that I would never fully understand her, but she was a decent person and that's all I really cared about... but that turned out wrong.
About a month ago, I noticed signs that said that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. One example include that I was taken off her friend's list at myspace. Another was a mean comment in my xanga that could've been passed as a joke, but something I doubted, especially since she didn't put just kidding at the end. With all that's going around, I didn't think that this could possibly be coincidence. So then I knew that she didn't want to be my friend anymore and the only conclusion that I could come up with was that she didn't like me because of Eric.
None of this is confirmed, but this is the only possible and logical theory. I suppose that I could ask her about it, but I don't think she'll be honest with me. It's not like she has anything to gain by being honest with me... she has everything to gain if she lied. So it's better off this way.
Anyway, I know this is the most logical explanation because I've always known that Asil liked Eric. I just always knew. I didn't know how deep the relationship between Asil and Eric was or how much Asil actually liked Eric, but I knew she did and I knew they knew each other decently. Turns out that Eric has always really liked Asil (as a friend), but with what happened recently, he's been kind of "eh" about her. Eric told me that she's had problems with another friend, Tanya because they both liked Eric. They were a lot closer friends though, so I guess they made up and are friends now, but the point is, she's had a fight (a major fight) with a friend (a major friend) over a guy. Why any different with me? Espcially since we're not even that close.
The only other thing is that I never did anything to her. I never treated her any differently, so whatever changed, it was because of her, not me. It really pisses me off that she'll end friends over guys. I absolutely hate girls like that. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm glad I didn't become close friends with her. I don't want to be close friends with people like her. I'm so glad that I didn't have to go down that long road. I would've ended up more hurt than I am now and I couldn't be angry at her like I am now.
Anyway, the only reason I'm really jealous of Asil is because I realized that Eric and Asil were pretty close and Eric doesn't really have any close friends. Maybe that wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't for the fact that she liked him, but I know she does. Another reason is because she's one of those girly girls that does girly things to him. She knows how to wiggle around a guy's heart. Like for example, Eric never comments on people's xanga, but he's been leaving comments on her's because she asks him to and as a bribe to keep her writing in xanga. (Eric wants everyone to convert to xanga and leave myspace because he hates myspace) I know he only did it because she asked. She's just one of those type of people. I don't ask Eric to do it for me because I don't feel that I should ask him to do something like that. If he wants to comment on his own, that means so much more to me and if he never does, it's no big deal. Petty little things like that shouldn't get to me... especially when he tells me he loves me all the time.
Anyway, I just wanted to clear up some things about what happened with her. I don't talk to her anymore, and she doesn't IM me either. I think she knows that I know she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore. I know Eric still talks to her, but it doesn't bother me. I don't want to be one of those people that controls who her boyfriend talks to. I know what's really going on in Eric's head and that's what's really important to me. So in conclusion, I'm not gonna be jealous anymore. There's no point when I know that Eric's mine and I know that Asil won't ever take him away from me.
I can tell when I see him, when I'm with him, when I kiss him or even just talk to him, I know he feels at home with me and that he wouldn't want to be anywhere else or with anyone else. I know that that's all that matters.