I can't believe it's been already 5 days since I've last updated. It doesn't feel that long. I guess it's because I never know what to write in here anymore. This place feels foreign to me. Ever since I stopped writing in here, it just feels weird to start again... I guess I wouldn't even know where to begin or what to say, I guess that's the problem.

Today wasn't a very good day. I was alone for most of the time and bad thoughts started going into my head again. Right now, I'm okay though, but I just really think that I need help and that I'm not okay. I just don't know what to do... it's not like I can even afford psychiatric help. What am I going to do?

I came back from seeing Eric a few minutes ago. He needed to go to the bank to get some money for paying tickets to the prom tomorrow. He bought me an oreo shake with the left over money and let me keep his soda because I kept drinking it... The shake just didn't taste so good without the soda I guess. I treasure nights like this. I know I didn't really hang out with him and I didn't really get to see him that long, but I still treasure moments where I'm alone with him at night. I mean, it's not like we did anything... just kinda talk I guess, but I still appreciate these kinda times.

Now I'm tired and sleepy and I'm going to bed. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.