So I was saying that I feel better about what Eric had said because I was talking to Zuri about this last night and she made me realize what kind of position I had put him by saying the kind of things I did. I guess it's hard to cheer someone up when you have your own self interest at hand. It's hard to be the nice person... the good person sometimes. I'm just glad that Zuri was able to make me feel better. I've noticed that when I start thinking and dwelling, I cannot feel what is logical. My thoughts dominate my feelings instead of my knowledge. I can't change that about myself though. Well, I guess I'll just have to learn to talk it out... When I start to talk about things, it really helps so much...
I don't feel so bad towards Vivian anymore. It's because she gave me one of her prom pictures and she said that I was glamourous in my picture. I don't know, that made me feel good about myself. Anyway, I don't feel so jealous anymore in a sense, so there's no point in feeling bad about Vivian, it's not her fault. I guess in a way, I thought this was gonna be the most horrible week of my life, but it turned out pretty decently.
I gave one of my prom pictures to Eric. I talked to him today, the first time all week (online)... I have mostly been trying to maintain my distance, because I think that's better for me. I don't talk to him unless I really need to, but I don't, I guess I felt like talking to him today. I think this is a lot healthier for me though. Anyway, I asked him if he messed up my picture yet and he said nope and that mine was the only one that was like in good condition. He has mine in a ziploc bag. Haha. When I heard that though, it really made me feel good about myself. It makes me feel like he still cares about me, even if he doesn't say the words. I don't know, I'm not reading so much into it that I think we're gonna get back together or anything, but I think I may be reading too much into it anyway as a friend. I don't know, but is it wrong to feel good about myself like this? The way I act is really because of what other people say to me. I get happy when I talk to people and they say nice things and make me happy, but I get extremely sad when they say something displeasing and I dwell on those words for such a long time. I'm just a dweller I guess, because sometimes I even dwell on the good things. I just think about it over and over in my head and it just makes me smile. I shouldn't overdo it so much. I'm just so on extremes and I wish it would stop.
I finally changed my older page... Anyway, prom pictures are here.