I don't work at Knott's anymore, nor do I want to. I forgot if I told you, but the last few days before work, this weird guy named Michael asked me out and I foolishly gave him my number and now he's kind of stalking me... okay, that's too strong of a word... but he called me 7 times in 2 days... and I've only ever called him back one time... well, today makes the second I guess, but he doesn't seem to get the message. He's almost like me (I don't take hints very well either). I should just tell him straight out that I have a boyfriend now... which actually I do.
I met Paul at AX. He's about a year and a half younger than I am. He's very different from the past guys I've dated. Remember how I've said that I always fall for the wrong guy... I don't know if Paul's the right guy, but I know he's not the wrong one. He's way too sweet and he flatters me all the time. It's actually kind of scary in a way, because I'm not used to so much compliments. I feel like I'm going to disappoint him. I really don't like the fact that I'm being viewed as this Godly figure in his life. That kinda worries me.
Paul is very different from everyone else in the past... He's most similar to Jeff I guess. Paul is very straight forward. He's not afraid to show signs of affection, which is probably the best thing about him. He likes to tickle me, which can be bothersome in a way, but it's not something I can't deal with... I guess I've kind of begun to enjoy the tickling. Paul is almost exactly the guy that I've been looking for almost all my life... minus the fact that he thinks too highly of me and he's younger than I am.
Paul reminds me of a computer nerd (because of his appearance)... I dunno how to explain it unless you see him for yourself. He reminds me of one of those guys that eats pizza a lot and stays home and fixes computers or stays on the computer and he knows everything about them. I'll bet he has one of those carry on shoulder bags... which he did have at AX... but I think they were giving them out? Anyway, if you haven't gotten it already, I really like Paul.
I'm trying to look for another job, but I dunno... it's not going so well. I applied at Golden Spoon (this ice cream place), where I would really like to work at but I dunno if they'll hire me. I hope they do, I would really like to work there. I don't want to go back to Knott's.
My finicial aid is done, I just need to respond. I still don't know if next year I'll be living at dorms or at home yet. The advantage of living at home would be that I could drive the car still, otherwise if I lived at the dorms, I can't go anywhere unless if maybe my parents picked me up on the weekends. I guess it depends on what kind of classes I will take and when... which speaking of which, I will need to figure out. You know, I can't believe I've had this diary for so long. Only a few years ago, I just finished freshman year, now I will be a freshman again. It's so scary... but I guess this is it. This is what life's going to be like.
I didn't think I would bring up Eric again, because... I dunno. I'm pretty much over it. I guess I like to talk about him sometimes... and I talk about him in a pretty shitty way, saying that he broke up with me because it got too serious for him and then he got with someone else... but isn't that what happened? I read his xanga today, and he said something about me...
Stuff has been good, even though I lost a friend, or someone I thought was a friend anyway...
Well, I'm assuming he's talking about me, but I guess it's hard to say. When I read that, I got sad for a few seconds. I guess the truth is I would still love it if we could be friends, but I know it wouldn't happen. I just don't see in him the Eric that I saw before, and the funny thing is, it's because of me, not him. I'm not bitter anymore. It just makes me sad because it's bittersweet, I guess. I can't really explain it. And so, that ends the chapter of Eric and I. I want to say that I won't mention him again for a long time, but I dunno if it'll happen. The truth is, in time, I would forget about him or not talk about him in here anyway if that's how I really felt. I don't really think about him anyway.
If you haven't realized it yet, I don't like Mick. He was all wrong for me... and anyway, I've already said that and knew that, so all's well.
As for AX, it didn't exactly happen the way I thought it would. I didn't really do anything anime related. The only thing really is that I read manga and went to the exibition hall to buy some stuff, but that's about it. The rest of the time, I spent hanging at the hotel with friends or playing DDR or melee, but nonetheless I enjoyed AX because it was a great getaway for me. It was basically for me, 4 days of absolutely no stress... wait actually, that's not true. I was kind of stressed the first night because I couldn't sleep due to all the talking that was going on... I guess in a way, Denysia was irritating me too, so I guess it wasn't completely drama free, but I liked the fact that my mom wasn't there, so she couldn't nag me about getting a job (like right now) or my finicial aid (which is finally done).
I felt a little like Denysia was being unreasonable with the whole Andrew thing... Do you guys remember Andrew? Rick's brother... that flirted with me when I first went to Sun Valley for the first time... who hated me after I said he flirted too much? Yeah, he does flirt too much. He was flirting with Denysia. Anyway... it just bugged me... the way they were acting. I dunno, pretty much almost everyone was pissing me off except some people that I don't normally hang out with like Rick, Mark (Rick's quiet brother), Zach (one of their friends), Paul, Jesse (Rick's friend), and maybe a few others I don't really feel like naming.
And you know what bothered me the most about Denysia... on the way home, she started talking to me about Andrew and about the fight between him and his dad. She told me the details, I forget now because I didn't really care. Then she started talking to me about Court and his girlfriend Jae, and how they are having trouble and something about this girl named Caroline. I like Caroline, but Court was a little annoyed at her during AX about a minor thing. Anyway, it seemed to me that Denysia was totally taking Court's side, whereas I was a bystander of the whole thing. I dunno... but the way she was talking about Court and Andrew, it just pissed me off because her tone of voice, to me, was saying and in a way, almost mocking me, that she knew them better than I did or something... which fucking pisses me off, but whatever. I don't care because out of the Soto's, I really enjoy Rick and Mark's company the most, so she can have Andrew and Court.
Good day and good grief.