MY GIRLFRIEND ALWAYS SAYS SHE LOVES ME, BUT I DON'T FEEL THE SAME YET, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. HOW WILL I KNOW WHEN IT WILL BE THE RIGHT TIME TO SAY "I LOVE YOU"?
There is never a wrong time to say "I love you," nor is there a wrong person to whom to say it to.
It is the "right" time to say "I love you" when you're heart speaks the words, not your brain. When you do not have a second thought. Nor even a first. When you are completely outside your thoughts and totally into your feelings.
Remember this always: Only say "I love you" to another when you are out of your mind.
SO WHAT DO THE WORDS "I LOVE YOU" MEAN?
What some people have decided they mean is very often much different from what the words actually mean. So I understand why you would be confused, and wondering when to use them.
Much of the human race has decided "I love you" means "I am yours. I belong to you." Or, "I own you."
This translate very soon, into, "I now owe you something, and you owe me something. It is now my job to make you happy and you must do the same for me."
That is not what it means, but this is what many people want it to mean, need it to mean, and insist that it should mean. That is why so many people want to hear it, and also why it is so difficult for some people to say it - and for nearly all people to live up to it.
SO IF "I LOVE YOU" DOES NOT MEAN THESE THINGS, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
"I love you" means "the God in me sees the God in you"
I'VE HEARD THAT SAYING BEFORE. ISN'T THAT WHAT THE WORD "NAMASTE" MEANS?
It is. That is another way of saying "I love you."
BUT WE THINK "I LOVE YOU" MEANS I'M READY FOR MORE, I'M MOVING TO THE NEXT LEVEL IN OUR RELATIONSHIP; I'M SEEING YOU DIFFERENTLY THAN I SEE EVERYONE ELSE. IT MEANS "YOU'RE SPECIAL TO ME," AND "THERE'S NO ONE ELSE LIKE YOU," AT LEAST NOT FOR ME.
It can mean that, depending upon what kind of feeling you are experiencing. Remember, with love, the way you feel and the way you show how you feel, will differ from relationship to relationship. Yet different kinds of feeling should not be confused with different levels of feelings. This idea that you are seeing someone differently is what has caused many difficulties in life, because what humans seem to communicate is that they love one person more than another, when what their soul really wishes to communicate is that they love one person in a different way than they love another. They have a different feeling.
In truth, you were created with the ability to see everyone through the eys of love.
SO THIS MEANS I SHOULD LOVE ALL THE GIRLS IN THE SCHOOL JUST AS MUCH AS I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND?
Not that you "should," but you can.
MY GIRLFRIEND WOULD BE PRETTY UNHAPPY ABOUT THAT.
Again let me ask you to remember that I am not saying "in the same way," or with the same feeling, I am saying "just as much."
All of life is vibration. That is all that it is. That is all that you are. It is possible to be in harmony with another vibration, or to be in sync with it.
To be in harmony means that your vibes and the other vibes blend. The vibrations are occuring at the same time in different ways. You are harmonized.
To be in sync means your vibes and the other vibes are occuring at the same way. You are synchronized.
This a very metaphysical way of saying that you can have different feelings of love with different people, and even different feelings of love with the same people at differnet times.
This explains what most people mean when they say that they love this person "more" than that person. What they are experiencing is that they love them in a different way. The "vibe" is different.
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HOW CAN I LOVE MYSELF WHEN I SEE SO MANY PARTS OF MYSELF THAT I DON'T LIKE?
Consider the possibility that all the things that you don't like are actually the best parts of you.
MY FAULTS ARE THE BEST PARTS OF ME?
Yes. They are your best character traits - but with the "volume" turned up perhaps just a notch too high.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
The parts of you that others call "spontaneous" is the same part of you they call "irresponsible" when the volume is turned way up.
The parts of you that others call "courageous" is the same part of you they call "foolhardy" when the volume is turned way up.
The parts of you that others call "confident" is the same part of you they call "egocentric" when the volume is turned way up.
All of your so-called "worst faults" are nothing more than your highest attributes, simply turned up too high for the "music" to be enjoyable.
The things that people fall in love with you for are the very same things they might critcize you for if they feel they are getting too much of it. They will love you for your willingness to make decisions quickly, and yet if you do it too often in too big a way they will call you "bossy."
This next part is the reason why i stopped letting it hurt. how i got it to stop letting it get to me. how i "recvored" so fast from chris.
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HURT SO MUCH TO LOVE SOMEONE? I'M TIRED OF BEING HURT BY SOMETHING THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO FEEL SO GOOD.
It doesn't have to hurt to love someone, but if one confuses "love" with "need," it almost always will.
Many human beings think that love is a response to need fulfillment. In other words, if you meet my needs, I love you.
I can understand where humans got this idea, since they have been told that this is how God works. You meet God's needs and God loves you. If you don't, then God does not.
This is not how it is with me, but it is how you've been taught that it is, and those teachings are hard to shake, and impossible to ignore.
So let's start with them.
God does not need anything from you. I do not need you to worship me, I do not need you to obey me, and I do not need you to come to me in a certain way in order to achieve your own salvation.
WELL, THAT BLOWS THE LID OFF PRACTICALLY EVERY RELIGION ON THE PLANET.
Sorry. That is just how it is!
God is the All-in-All, the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the Unmoved Mover, The Prime Source, adn All That Is.
There is nothing that there is that I am not, and what I am not does not exist. Therefore, by definition, I need nothing.
Remember this always: God needs nothing.
It follows with impeccable logic that if there is nothing I need, there is nothing I am going to punish you for if you don't give it to me. That includes your personal allegiance, the particular way that you worship or come to me, or for that matter, even admitting that I exist.
I do not need you to recognize that I exist or to pray to me or to have anything to do with me at all. And I will not punish you in the everlasting fires of hell if you do not.
WHAT DOES ALL THIS HAVE TO DO WITH LOVE?
Everything. Human beings love the way they love because they think that this is the way that God loves. Humans beings think that love is a Godly response to having needs met, and it is not.
Love is not a response, it is a decision.
Most people think that love is a response, and they gathered this from their misunderstanding of how and why I love you.
I do not love you for what you do for me. I love you because you are.
Simply because you ARE.
Can you understand that? Can you graps it? My love is a decision, not a reaction.
I THINK SO, YES. BUT DOES THAT MEAN WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO EARN YOUR LOVE?
You do not need to earn what you already have.
Does a rose need to earn the rain?
Does ice cream need to "earn" your love?
Ice cream does nothing to earn your love.It just is. Ice cream is what it is, and you love it.
Think of things this way: You are God's dessert.
THAT'S CUTE. I LIKE THAT.
Now you know that I love you beacuse you simply are, and require you to do nothing to "earn" my love. I need nothing from you. Let this be your New Model of Love. Love gives of itself for no reason. It is not a repayment, nor can it be a bribe for what you hope will come.
True Love is the result of a decision you make about how you are going to be with another person. If it is merely a respons to what another person does, it is not love for another at all, but a counterfeit emotion.
When you make a decision to love another person before you have any idea what they might, or could, or will do for you or with you, that is a very high decision. You automatically increase you vibe. I mean that your being actually begins to vibrate at a high frequency, at a faster speed.
The feeling of love emanates from you, like rays of sunshine. People feel wonderful around you, and so they find themselves feeling wonderful about you.
Suddenly, they increase their vibes - and then, you could find yourself in harmony or in sync
That's when the heart begins to flutter, and the sparks begin to fly....
HOW CAN I MAKE A DECISION TO LOVE SOMEONE BEFORE I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM?
Do you love people because of who they are, or because of who you are?
WOW. THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION.
Indeed. And your answer?
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED THEM BECAUSE OF WHO THEY ARE, I GUESS.
Thanks for being so honest. Now just change your reason for loving them. When you love people because of who you are, you demonstrate that you need nothing from them, that your love is not based on what you can get from them.
BUT I DO NEED SOMETHING FROM THE PEOPLE I LOVE. I CAN'T SAY I DON'T, BECAUSE I DO.
No, you don't. You just think you do.
There is not a single thing that you need from any other person in order for you to be perfectly happy. Indeed, you have been perfectly happy in many moment of your life without ever having even met half of the people that you now know.
YES, BUT ONCE I GOT TO KNOW THEM, I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM. ESPECIALLY CERTAIN ONES. ESPECIALLY THAT "PARTICULAR" ONE!
This is not true, but if you think that is true, it will seem true enough for you. It will also lead to your unhappiness. Because first you will convince yourself that you cannot be happy without a particular person, then you will decided that it is not enough just to have that person in your life, you must have that person be in your life in a certain way.
After that you will decided that in order to happy you must have that person in a certain way a certain amount of time - like, every free moment they have.
Soon, you will imagine that in order to be happy you must have that person in your life in that way all the time! You might even catch yourself saying that you would "just die" without that person. Of course, you would not mean that. What you would mean is that it feels as though a big part of you would "die" if that person was not in your life.
Now here comes the fascination thing about all this. In order not to have a big part of you die from being without that person, you will kill a big part of that person.
You will kill their spirit.
You will so smother them with your love, and with your need for their love, that they will choke, they will cough, and then they will have to throw you off in order to survive.
They will run away from you, which is sad, because they really liked you a lot, and probably could have loved you - but they simply could not fill your needs.
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING ME AROUND.
I have! But that's not why I know this. I know this because this is the way love is being experienced by most of the human race. And that is because you have confused "love" with "need."
Now here is the good news. Remember this always: You need nothing outside of yourself in order to be happy.
I know you think that you do, but you do not. This is an illusion. It is the First of The Ten Illusions of Humans.
The illusion is that need exists. The illusion is that someone or something outside of yourself is needed.
Yet if you still think that it is, try this exercise.
1. Make a list of the people, places, and things you think that you need to be happy.
2. Now think of a time when you did not have these, and were still perfectly happy.
3. Now ask yourself, "Why do I think I need this person, place, or thing to be happy now?"
If you are honest with yourself, you will know that you do not. You may perfer to create your happiness with this particular tool, but it is not necessary to do so.
Do not, therefore, turn a preference into a need.
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WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SEND ME SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE ME AND SEE ME FOR EVERYTHING THAT I AM (MY QUIRKS, FLAWS, ETC.) THE WAY I LOOK AT EVERYONE AND APPRECIATE THEM?
I have sent you someone. Me!
WELL, YOU KNOW, GOD, I APPRECIATE THAT, BUT WHAT I WOULD ALSO APPRECIATE IS ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IN MY LIFE TO SHARE MY DAYS AND NIGHTS WITH ME.
I know that. I understand that. Now I'm going to tell you how to find that.
GREAT!
Simply be what you are looking for.
BE WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR?
Yes. Instead of searching for someone to love, be someone who could be loved. Send what you wish to receive. Be what you wish to experience. This is the greatest secret in all of life.
Be what you are looking for, and what you are looking for will find you.
Everyone is looking for the same thing. Do not, therefore, be the searcher. Rather, be that for which others are searching.
*fRagiLe*