06.27.04
#792 - Purpose of diaries?

randomlayout / my designs

greed

lust

pride

You know, I hate to say it, but lately I've been wondering what the point is to writing in here anymore. It doesn't feel the same way as it used to. I've never had to ask myself what the purpose of a diary was...

My review from pink sugar said that I am writing for an audience and not for myself. I guess, I don't intend to do that, but I end up doing it because I do not feel like there's anything I could write for myself. I do not feel that I need to write things out to remember them anymore... So I guess, I'm just writing for the heck of it.

Ahh... I don't know. Well, the reason I haven't written in awhile is because, I guess that I was busy. I've been really tired lately, and computer usages have been rare because my family all want to use it.

I went swimming yesterday with some friends, and I think I might have gotten a cold. I could really care less though, it will go away as soon as it came if it's a cold.

I was supposed to play tennis with Susan today, but that obviously did not happen. I think maybe she fell asleep again, so whatever.

I had a dream about this guy yesterday... it was really weird and made no sense. All that I remember was this really hot guy who was asking me why the sound on the computer didn't work. He was into me, I could tell.

Now that I think about it, it reminds me of around last week, when this entry happened. I was referring to Jeff, but I think I am over it. I wish I would stop feeling so lonely all the dang time. It's so hard to find someone to communicate with nowadays. God...

And you know what I really hate? Friends, because I have the hardest time keeping friends. It seems that I always end up doing something fucked up, where they get mad at me, and then I feel bad... and yeah. I hate that. I just can't have close friends, I am not meant for it, especially because, it's human nature to expect things and then to end up getting hurt. It's just so damn hard, and I do sometimes wish that I didn't have any friends... *sigh* If you're a friend of mine, please don't respond to this paragraph...

Anyway, I'm going to go now... I should do some reviews. Bye.


sloth

envy

wrath

gluttony